My daughter (The Girl) is growing up to be too much like me. I am both proud and scared. Proud because she has an awesome sense of humor. Scared because it looks like some day she’ll be more sarcastic and daring than I am!!
The other day while we were out shopping and spotted this shirt and INSISTED on buying it.
I love it and would have bought it for myself if I had seen it first!!
Then she begged me to buy her this kitten shirt. So not me. Way better!!
So much awesome in such a little package. I’m glad she picked me out of all of the possible parents in the world!!
One day my children will be able to pee without soaking the toilet seat.
One day my children will be able to wash their hands without drowning the counter top.
One day my children will be able to hold a conversation without belching or farting.
One day my children will be able to pick up their dirty clothes without being asked.
One day my children will be able to get in the car without making 473,829 trips back into the house for something they forgot.
One day my children will be able to complete a trip to the supermarket without having to pee three times (and then whine the entire trip home that they have to pee again).
One day my children will be able to remember to say please and thank you without being prompted.
One day my children will be able to make a decision in less than sixty minutes. It’s not that hard to choose between strawberry or grape jelly.
One day my children will be able to keep track of their shoes, and coats, and books, and toothbrushes.
One day my children will be able to hang up their wet towels after showering.
One day my children will be able to remove the empty toilet paper roll and replace it with a new one.
One day my children will be able to throw their trash into the trash can … not next to it.
One day my children will be able to go to sleep without all of the lights in the house on.
One day my children will be all grown up and not need me anymore. But today is not that day. Today they still need me.
Be on the lookout for the nefarious character “I Don’t Know”. He may be accompanied by his sidekick “Not Me”. Both have apparently struck my home, particularly the bathroom, where they have once again used all of the toilet paper off the roll and failed to replace it.
If you happen upon these two, proceed with extreme caution. Confrontation may cause them to spill their drink or eat the last cookie from your secret stash.
You have been warned.
The Husband took the kids out Christmas shopping last night. This is part of the conversation we had over breakfast this morning…
The Boy: We saw this stuff. Doesn’t Aunt K**** like that one thing?
The Girl: Doctor Who?
TB: Yeah Doctor Who! They had that thing. The TARDIS and when you pushed the button it talked.
Me: Wow. That’s neat.
TB: And they had that other thing. A … umm … a dildo?
Me: (horrified stare)
The Husband: (equally horrified stare)
TB: (noticing the looks on our faces) or maybe it was a droid or something.
Me: (looking at The Husband) I’ve got to quit letting him hang out with you!
The Boy: (still trying to get us to understand what he’s talking about) You know, that think that says, “eliminate!” Or something like that. They had that.
I just love having breakfast as a family.
Being left in the dark in the shower the other day got me wondering. Why is it that no matter where they go, the kids NEVER shut off the lights?
First of all, no matter where their final destination is, the hallway light MUST BE ON!!! Bathroom? Turn on the hallway light. Bedroom? Turn on the hallway light. Kitchen? Yep, hallway light is on…and they don’t even go through the hallway to get to the kitchen!!! I can’t tell you how many times a day (maybe an hour would be easier to count) I turn off the hallway light. I think our nation’s energy problems may center on my children. If they’d turn off the lights HALF the time, there would never be the threat of an energy shortage.
If they come into the bathroom while I am in the shower, they ALWAYS turn off the light when they leave. Now, WHY OH WHY do they leave me in the bathroom, in the shower, in the DARK!!! It never fails. Granted, most of the time it is daylight outside (and thank goodness for windows) so I’m not completely in the dark. But, what I can’t figure out is why all the other lights in the house must be left on except for the one that really needs to be.
Guess I should gather a dozen of the smartest people I know and pose this question to them. Wonder how long it would take them to come up with an answer. I’m not sure I have that much time though.
It’s awfully dark in here……